Fredegar's Freakish Day
by Aria Breuer
Summary: Fredegar was just your average, ordinary hobbit. He had good friends and lots of adventures to share. But no one counted on the adventure Fredegar was about to face. Why must these things always happen to him? Featuring Fredegar Bolger and a hobbitess.


**Disclaimers:** I do not own _The Lord of the Rings_. J.R.R. Tolkien does.

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This fanfic is inspired by the 1985 movie "Alice Through the Looking Glass", particularly with the first Jabberwocky scene.

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Fredegar Bolger, Fatty as he went by, by his friends, was just your average, ordinary hobbit lad. He had good friends and they had adventures. He was always the good sort of hobbits who helped save Middle-earth from the band of ruffians. Yes, he was cherished throughout the Shire for his noble deeds and astonishing good looks. But let's not forget that he….

….most of this was a stretcher, and a lot of the saving Middle-earth came from Fredegar's friends. Though this hobbit did a great effort in resolving to save the Shire from Saruman's reign of terror and alerting the Shirefolk about the Ringwraiths. We got that part right.

Now, on with the main portion of this story.

Fatty Bolger, no longer Fatty as he was a thinner hobbit, due to his time in the Lockholes of Michel Delving, found himself admired by those few lasses who cared about him. The rest of the lasses were off falling head over heels towards Merry Brandybuck and Pippin Took. A sad story we know, but it just keeps getting better. Trust us, we know what we're doing. Now….

"Humph!" Fredegar spoke up, interrupting our broadcast. "We need a new narrator. One that isn't so grim." He made his way into Bywater, only to be pushed out of the way by the lasses. And there was Merry Brandybuck, his brown hair tussled in the wind. Fredegar shook his head. "If only there was a lass for me."

"Excuse me," one lass walked up to him, "can you help me?"

"Hmm." He was so attracted to this young lass. "Yes. I can. What help do you need?"

"Will you walk with me home? I lost my way and I didn't know what to do," the lass said, batting her eyelashes at him.

Naturally, one would think that Fredegar would learn better than to trust this lass. Her beauty couldn't outmatch his wits. Fredegar was as smart as any hobbit could come….

"Why yes, miss. I'll take you home," Fredegar said, taking her hand and walking off down the lonely dirt road into the dark forest, where no one returned. Hahahahah! Fredegar shook his head. "We really need a new narrator again, one that isn't leading me to my doom."

Well, Fredegar did follow the lass further into the woods. Then she stopped and rushed off into the wilderness. Fredegar was left at a crossroads. Should he follow her or should he let her be? Then again, he shivered from the cold. This wasn't right! He should be home and drinking tea and singing sweet songs… there was a song playing and the smell of fresh cooked meat. He followed the smell, straight towards a campfire littered with vampire hobbits and werewolf hobbits. Wait! This couldn't be right!

"Wait. Wait! STOP!" he screamed, but it didn't prevent the werewolves from sinking their teeth into his neck and the vampires grabbing him and doing the same thing. He wimpered in fright. Oh, he never should have left home.

"Oh Fredegar, what were we talking about?" asked the freakish lass, also changing into a vampire hobbitess.

"NOOOOO!" Fredegar screamed, his eyes closing. He was dead. He was dead. No, he was awake in his warm, soft bed, paralyzed on the spot. What had happened to him. He'd just been through a freakish nightmare, but he knew he had to get up and do something. And so he did get up and found his way instead to the kitchen, where all the knives were kept. Oh good! There was his best friend Merry Brandybuck and his sister Estella Bolger. They were safe. They were… no! Wait! They were a vampire and werewolf, too?! Wait! "WAIT! NOOOOO!"

He screamed himself awake again. He was lying on his bed again. What sorts of night terrors were these dreams? Couldn't he have a story to himself? Well, if this was the end of his story, then he might as well leave it at that.

"Humph. No crummy vampire or werewolf is going to freak me out." He was wrong, for a wolf with red eyes growled hungrily next to him. "NOOOOOO!"

The End.

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Thanks for reading. :) I hope I didn't scare my readers too much with this story.


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